10 Counter Intuitive Ways To Fight Anxiety

Follow these 10 non-intuitive steps for success

1.  Be more selfish: Be more for yourself, so you can be more for others.  Individuals with anxiety are often very giving.  They pride themselves on this trait, only to be hurt later.  When you give more to others than yourself, you become depleted.  When you become exhausted you become anxious. When you take care of yourself first, you tell yourself that you're important. Individuals with anxiety will often resent themselves later for giving up time and other means they could not afford.  Take time for yourself.  Remember, you can't pull others to higher ground when you're sinking.

2. Listen to your enemies, ignore your friends: Do you want free therapy?  Do you want objective and real feedback that will improve you?  You probably tremble at the thought of asking for advice, especially from someone you don't care for.  However, you can learn so much about yourself from individuals unafraid to speak the truth.  When that feedback stings, it's striking a cord.   

3. Sleep more:  You're not heroic for sleeping 4-6 hours a night.  You think you are accomplishing so much more, but you're not.  Studies show that the negative effects on the brain from sleep deprivation hinder productivity.  Work hard at getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night.  Donald Trump prides himself on only sleeping 4-5 hours a night.  Need I say more?

4. Fail more and fast: Think like a scientist - the more we fail the closer we get to a result.  Sometimes it takes failing or being rejected 20 times before we get the "yes" or  see success.  

5. Say no more often:  If it's not a "heck yes", it should be a "heck no".  Don't say yes to every thing requested, because you're a serial pleaser.  Remember, when you say "yes" to something, you are saying "no" something else.  Why spend time doing something you aren't passionate about?  Always remind yourself that your time is what your life is made up of.  Are you giving away pieces of your life to projects and individuals who don't deserve it?

6. Welcome your fears:  What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.  If you face a fear on a daily basis, you will accomplish the steps necessary to overcoming self doubt.  Your fear is deeper than you probably give credit.  Figure out what the common beliefs are about your fears.  When you understand the core of your fears, you recognize what it is that you must overcome.

7.  Share your weaknesses freely:  There are times when we must create confidence by being the expert.  However, there are moments when admitting our limitations is equally reassuring.  We feel close to others and ourselves when we can share our faults.  There is something very endearing about a person who admits their struggles and limitations.  We see them as human and honest.  Sharing our struggles allows us to drop the "superman" syndrome, which gives us permission to make mistakes and try new behaviors.   

8.  Talk to strangers:  Get a fresh perspective, build a network, learn what others do for success.  The more you learn about other people, the more you learn about about yourself.

9.  Refine your friendships:  In spirit of step #8, you may need to talk to new people and make new friends.  You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  Are your current associates adding up?  If not, its time to find friends who are positive, share common aspirations and will challenge you. 

10: Stop trying to be happy all the time:  When you only give attention and value to the emotion of happiness, you set yourself up for failure.  It's impossible to feel happy all the time.  Allowing yourself to feel all states of emotion is the true definition of living intentionally.  Have you ever wondered how often you should be happy?  It's practical to believe that you can expect to be in a reasonably positive mood 80% of the time.  It's okay to be struggling 20% of the time.  Remember, sugar is always sweeter after the sour.